thruthemotions (thruthemotions) wrote in patheticism101,

hits home pretty hard

It ain't no point to me wakin' up
Everybody's time I'm takin' up
I got nobody, it ain't a shoulder near
I can't stay here and it's colder there
I don't wanna look back cuz it's gonna hurt
I slice my wrist and it's gonna squirt
For me, everybody holds a hate
I get backstabbed and everybody holds a stake
There's no roads to take, I'm in a circle drive
Bustin' at myself and I'm tryin' to survive
I'll disappoint you, and I will let you down
And I ain't got many homeboys coming around
You don't understand so don't say you do
I swear I'll put a motherfuckin' slug in you
I'm the only one, the lonely one
At home alone, loading a gun
Thinkin', why not?

I wanna get high, but I got piss-test
I'm always first name on top of shit-list
Get this: the witch has made my chest
It's permanent nightly visiting nest
It ain't no clothes that I look good in
I'm the motherfuckin' big red train that couldn't
I hit rock bottom and then I fell in a hole
And then I fell thru the floor of that hole some more
I look ahead and all I see is more of the same
Or this self inflicted bullet hole pourin' my brain

I dream about cuttin' heads off with a shovel
The dreams are gettin' serious, think I'm in trouble
I don't hold memory for more than an hour
I'm tired as fuck and I'm drained of power
I ain't halfway there and I'm all out of time
I'm like a crushed lightbulb: all out of shine
I been around the world and no place is home
I wanna see the other side when I face this chrome
I'm butt naked, I been jackin' off, gettin' drunk
It's my last hours alive, who gives a fuck?
It don't matter, I'm doin' this shit in the garage
Tryin' to make it easier for them to clean my head splash
This bitch I loved, I hope she finds me
Still up in a chair with my thoughts behind me
I'm bout to do it!
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