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[25 Feb 2005|12:49pm]

[ mood | <mood icon looks like jesus ]

well then.
no one posts in here anymore.
well...im bored and I found this old comic my friend used to do.
its not drawn well...at all.
but its not the looks, its the material...give it a bit, and its guaranteed to make your sides hurt, at least a little.


he does other shoddily drawn comics, each funny stuff.

dry your eyes

bob attack! [16 Nov 2004|10:41pm]

[ mood | blah ]

why it sucks to be the smallest person in a group...Collapse )

1 soggy tissue| dry your eyes

[10 Nov 2004|10:41am]

[ mood | cynical, as usual ]

You said post, and since im the noob, ill listen.

i wrote this almost a year ago...
here it is.

(dream under the midnight stars)

youthanasia puts the children to sleep,
dream tonight,
lay down, before you weep.

Go to sleep,
Go far, far away,
when your eyes closed and keep,
all of your dreams at bay.

Dream below the midnight stars,
upon your burning feather bed,
you can leave behind all the worries and wars,
dream a small dream in your sleeping head.

So, goodnight,
leave all your worries behind you now,
if you happen to find heaven,
take me along somehow.

Go to sleep,
dream a dream away from this place,
but please come back,
dont leave me behind away to waste.

Dream below the hollow moon up there,
your once crying eyes closed so tight.
So sleep tight, and without a care,
and if your eyes shouldnt open again...goodnight, goodnight.

dry your eyes

[08 Nov 2004|09:19pm]

[ mood | relaxed ]

Nice to see this community isn't completely dead.

first off, i'd especially like to thank Daniel for his posting, and breathing life into this place.

Secondly, i've noticed there are a couple of new members that haven't posted! come on guys, we're all friends here...tell us about yourselves. We here at Patheticism101 all share one thing in common. That common trait should be quite obvious, kids. We want this community to be active, and so far this hasn't really happened aside from occasional postings from the same members (not that it's a problem). i demand everyone to post! i know i haven't been posting much lately, either, but i resolve to remedy this problem.

even if you have nothing to say...say something!
poems, pictures, rants, self-pityings, stories, questions...

you name it, we'll take it!

yours pathetic-ly,

dry your eyes

Laundromats... [08 Nov 2004|02:42pm]

A few days ago, I spent most of my time in the laundromat. Sounds of change filled my ears. People walking by. Lives, faces, people, laundry.
Folding, cleaning, their minds racing faster than ever.
I cant help but wonder what theyre thinking. Faces...sometimes they all blend into the same.
I see a single mom, with un-ruly children. An old man, lonely, with a wedding ring that looks worn and old. I wondered if the woman he once belonged to was still on this earth. He was only washing male clothing. Change into the dryer.
I dont get it.
Why am I drawn to these places?
I see these people, lonely hearts...
am I just comparing myself to them? or is it that i see myself in each and every one of them?
2 soggy tissues| dry your eyes

hits home pretty hard [04 Nov 2004|10:03am]

It ain't no point to me wakin' up
Everybody's time I'm takin' up
I got nobody, it ain't a shoulder near
I can't stay here and it's colder there
I don't wanna look back cuz it's gonna hurt
I slice my wrist and it's gonna squirt
For me, everybody holds a hate
I get backstabbed and everybody holds a stake
There's no roads to take, I'm in a circle drive
Bustin' at myself and I'm tryin' to survive
I'll disappoint you, and I will let you down
And I ain't got many homeboys coming around
You don't understand so don't say you do
I swear I'll put a motherfuckin' slug in you
I'm the only one, the lonely one
At home alone, loading a gun
Thinkin', why not?

I wanna get high, but I got piss-test
I'm always first name on top of shit-list
Get this: the witch has made my chest
It's permanent nightly visiting nest
It ain't no clothes that I look good in
I'm the motherfuckin' big red train that couldn't
I hit rock bottom and then I fell in a hole
And then I fell thru the floor of that hole some more
I look ahead and all I see is more of the same
Or this self inflicted bullet hole pourin' my brain

I dream about cuttin' heads off with a shovel
The dreams are gettin' serious, think I'm in trouble
I don't hold memory for more than an hour
I'm tired as fuck and I'm drained of power
I ain't halfway there and I'm all out of time
I'm like a crushed lightbulb: all out of shine
I been around the world and no place is home
I wanna see the other side when I face this chrome
I'm butt naked, I been jackin' off, gettin' drunk
It's my last hours alive, who gives a fuck?
It don't matter, I'm doin' this shit in the garage
Tryin' to make it easier for them to clean my head splash
This bitch I loved, I hope she finds me
Still up in a chair with my thoughts behind me
I'm bout to do it!
dry your eyes

[29 Aug 2004|12:48am]

[ mood | empty ]

well yeah, we made it home; not until 6 in the morning, but we made it nonetheless. We stopped at this place between North Carolina and South Carolina called South Of The Border. From there my mom called one of her old high school buddies that she hasnt seen in 20 years, and apparently hes a Fire Department Captain. So me, my sister, my dad, and my mom all met up wih Joe and his entire Fire Squad Team. We ate, in the middle of it the boys had a call, so they all rushed out. But yeah, after dinner we went to the guy Joe's house and hung out with him and his wife. They seem like very cool, down to earth people that i wouldnt mind hangin with. But yeah thats what took us so long to get home.

Jen called me the other day saying she felt like she made a mistake, and wanted to date exclusively again,... I told her that im not saying no for forever, but the way im feeling these days, i dont feel like id make for a good boyfriend (i havnt been takin my meds, for one thing). Ive been feeling So down recently, for no reason, and it may sound shitty, but i thought at first it was because of this crap with Jen, but its not,... it came to me somewhere between the bong hits and the joints being passed around; but i speak of love, have all these thoughts and opinions about love (like how it should be and whatnot,... Im 17 years old, have had only 5 girls call me their boyfriend, and not one of those relationships lasted for more than a month (this last one lasted about 2, but i was gone for a month of it to Cali).

I dont know shit about love, relationships, none of it. I will die alone. I always knew that death was some scary shit, and when you went you went alone, but i think ive got a taste of that now.

I am Great, Awesome, Superb, whatever the fuck word youd like to use, At Friendship. I S-U-C-K A-S-S at intamacy. being in a relationship. I could probably be the best fuckin marriage councelor In The Whole Fuckin WORLD, but i cant have a serious relationship of my own. Call me just 'young and inexperienced' or whatever, but yeah.

And this shit with Liz is just improveing my mood by the minute (are you picking up the sarcasm...?) Her and her boyfriend are on like a 6-month time out (WTF??), so for like the past week she wants to do nothing but hangout with me. Now where was this attention, Before??? It like all she wants is a fuck buddy. She hasnt said it but ive been pickin up the subtle hints. And its like, what the fuck ever. Im done with people's bullshit. Seriously, i spend So much time and effort trying to get to know people, understand them as people, and not even the people im supposedly close to seem to give a fuck. Im done with it. I mean seriously, im not much of an avid country music listener, but its like that fuckin song by Toby Keith.

We talk about your work how your boss is a jerk
We talk about your church and your head when it hurts
We talk about the troubles you've been having with your brother
About your daddy and your mother and your crazy ex-lover
We talk about your friends and the places that you've been
We talk about your skin and the dimples on your chin
The polish on your toes and the run in your hose
And God knows we're gonna talk about your clothes

We talk about your dreams and we talk about your schemes
your high school team and your moisturizer creme
We talk about your nanna up in Muncie, Indiana
We talk about your grandma down in Alabama
We talk about your guys of every shape and size
The ones that you despise and the ones you idolize
We talk about your heart, about your brains and your smarts
And your medical charts and when you start
You know talking about you makes me grin
But every now and then

I wanna talk about me
Wanna talk about I
Wanna talk about number one
Oh my me mine
What I think, what I like, what I know, what I want, what I see
I like talking about you you you you, usually, but occasionally
I wanna talk about me (me,me,me,me,me,me-background singers)

I know this all sounds selfish, but Dammit, everyone else is. I want someone to know ME. What I think, what I like, what I know, what I want, what I see. Fuckers.

i need a Real hug.

1 soggy tissue| dry your eyes

[03 Jul 2004|05:28am]

The Meaning Of LifeCollapse )
1 soggy tissue| dry your eyes

since no one else posts anything, i will continue to post random pictures! [29 May 2004|04:07pm]

[ mood | bored ]

jake discovers the joy and wonder that is...a curling iron!
boys are silly!

dry your eyes

[19 Jun 2004|06:13pm]

[ mood | bored ]

hell yes!

come on guys, we need to be more active!
start posting!

dry your eyes

My Bubble [18 May 2004|10:42pm]

living in a bubble, just won't let you in.
all you find is lonliness, deep inside, within.

completely isolated, in this dark bubble of mine;
can't let anybody enter, i'll just tell them that i'm fine.

smiling hurts more than anything, but i do it everyday;
to make people believe i'm happy, to turn them all away.

i'm finding all the reasons i should live, and reasons i should not;
one side of the scare is empty, but emptiness is all i've got.

i'm trying to find a person, who understands how i feel;
i thought i found this person, but it turns out she isn't real.

my heart is drenched in tears, my whole world is upside-down;
my mind is completely crisscrossed, and my lips are one big frown.

so i'll just stay in my bubble, and shut out the entire void;
just me in my dark shadow. i'm such a messed up guy.


2 soggy tissues| dry your eyes

[11 Mar 2004|09:36am]

Is it bad that my mom makes me want to kill myself?
1 soggy tissue| dry your eyes

[21 Feb 2004|03:26pm]

rachel = loser.
2 soggy tissues| dry your eyes

Shattered Soul [21 Feb 2004|03:32pm]

So far no one,
Seems to notice me,
And it seems no one,
Will ever see,
All my insecurities,
But all I need,
Is for one person to believe in me...

I need someone,
To see through my mask,
But it seems that no one,
Will ever ask,
Doesn't anyone wonder,
About the real me?
All I do is wander,
Across this field of lost dreams,
Will anyone believe,
In what I can't?
Tell me what might be,
If I can find the strength to stand...

How can't you see,
How much I hate myself?
Turn your back and leave,
And never offer any help,
You see, I smile on the outside,
And tell you that I'm fine,
But can't you see that on the inside,
I just want to die?...

Won't anyone,
Tell me I'm beautiful?
Won't anyone,
Somehow see some potential,
Deep within my heart?
How long could it take?
Is it really that hard?
Please for my sake,
Find some good somehow,
In my decaying soul,
Is it too late now,
To try to make me whole?...

I feel so pathetic
Please just prove me wrong,
I just can't stand this,
I've waited so long,
And I'm trying to hold on,
But if there's a point I can't see it,
And I'm trying to move on,
If there's a reason please tell me what it is,
'Cause right now,
I feel pretty damn useless,
Please tell me how,
I'm not completely worthless...

Good enough,
I'll never be,
For you that's tough,
'Cause you can't see,
Your standards are too fucking high,
And when I'm not perfect,
I see the disappointment in your eyes,
Everything I do you reject,
I will always be a disappointment,
I am my own constant torment,
'Cause when I'm not perfect,
I feel like a nobody,
I crave some respect,
Will I ever be somebody?...

Death is a fantasy,
Brought on by broken dreams,
Things I can't see,
Drifting on the stream,
Made of desire,
Hope and faith,
Love to acquire,
And friends to make,
But my streams going dry,
And you are the sun,
Can't you tell me why,
You seem to find this fun?...

I've been forgotten,
'Cause I have nothing to give,
This web I'm caught in,
This lie that I live,
Won't someone let me cry?
Does anyone care?
Would you noticed if I died?
Do I even dare?
Would you notice at all,
If I suddenly wasn't there?
Will you catch me when I fall?
Or will I suddenly disappear?...

Put your arms around me,
Tell me it's okay to cry,
Soothe away there insecurities,
Untangle these ropes so I can fly,
I feel so weak,
From this constant struggling,
I'm such a freak,
Could anyone ever love me?...

I never think of myself,
I push everyone away,
Easier to focus on everyone else,
And lie that everything's okay,
When I say to leave me alone,
I don't meant it,
My pain remains unknown,
This mask, please see through it,
Just look into my eyes,
They're always full of tears,
Oh how I long to cry,
I need someone to understand my fears...

My dreams are shattered to pieces,
By the stone of my own doubt,
This breaking never ceases,
As I swear, scream, and shout,
The knife of hopelessness,
Leaves scars on my wrist,
I don't think I can cope with this,
The anger persists,
And with my numb brush,
I paint myself new dreams,
My ink is my blood,
But they're again shattered by my silent screams...

And endless cycle of despair,
Please just put your arms around me,
Are the demons really there?
Tell me you truly love me,
Let me know that there's a way,
Because I feel so lost,
Tell me everything's okay,
Out the window hope I tossed,
Please catch it,
Before it too breaks,
Can another flame be lit?
How much more can I take?...

I'm sinking
Into eternal sorrow,
I'm drinking,
My blood, trying to get through tomorrow,
No one understands,
I want to give up,
My life feels so bland,
So I again self-destruct...

This pain enchants me,
I'm my worst enemy,
It's better than feeling nothing,
I'm sick of seeing everything,
And I have no love to blind me,
It's pain to escape the nothingness,
To know I'm still alive,
But the pain leads back to numbness,
And it's all that's left inside...

This sick addiction,
Searching for my solace,
Doubts and dreams cause friction,
Is depression what they call this?
I guess I wouldn't know,
'Cause I deny anything's wrong,
This pain is hard to show,
And now I think I've waited too long...

Beautiful I'll never be,
Staring at the mirror,
Am I really that ugly?
I scream again,
And the mirror is gone,
But without a friend,
It's not gone long,
I hate this reflection,
I tell myself it's not there,
But it's my only companion,
And no one else seems to care...

Surrounded by lies,
When I'm supposed to have truth,
Into the night go silent cries,
Will I ever be made new?
I'm again brought to my knees,
By the weight of tears,
I make new scars that no one can see,
To try and chase away my fears,
I think of suicide,
And ponder life,
Do I want to die?
I pick up the knife...

A stream of red,
Runs down the drain,
Wishing I was dead,
I'm in so much pain,
And no one seems to care,
No one even tries,
This seems so unfair,
They don't look at what's inside,
And see all the things I might've been,
If only someone had asked,
But I'm brought back to the knife again,
'Cause no one sees through the mask...

I'm just another shattered soul,
Maybe that's why no one sees,
The knife goes dull,
But I sharpen it when no one believes,
Are they too busy helping everyone else?
Or does my mask seem that real?
I can't rely on myself,
I've lost the ability to feel,
Someone please help me,
Someone let me cry,
Can anyone save me?
Or have I already died?...

I tell myself just one more day,
Maybe things could be better,
I could find the path from which I've strayed,
But things never quite work out,
And I'm back to square one,
Again clouds of doubt,
Cover up the sun,
Some stress is relieved,
When I'm with friends,
But after they leave,
I'm left with myself again...

I hate myself,
Everyone else hates me too,
I hate everyone else,
I don't know that to do,
I write pointless poems,
Stories no one reads,
These doubts form another stone,
And it again shatters dreams...

Someone's always better than me,
I'll never be the best,
But all I really need,
Is some long awaited rest,
I'm sick of being average,
But I guess that's true of everyone,
I'm sitting here at the edge,
Calling out for someone,
Anyone that has the time,
Anyone that would care,
This mountain will be hard to climb,
Can you promise to be there?...

I don't know why I feel like this,
I can't understand myself,
I forget what life is like without this,
Joy is sitting on a dusty shelf,
Do you care to take the time,
To whisper one kind word,
To tell my it's okay to cry,
And let my pain be heard,
Because all I am,
Is another shattered soul,
Please do anything you can,
To try and make me whole...


I wrote this a while ago, found it, almost cried, and thought i'd get some feedback...?

I know it's long so, anyone who took the time to read it, thank you.
I dont feel this way All the time, every so often i'm able to forget, and i owe that to my friends...

One night, about a year ago, i was outside, looking up at the stars,... i was feeling pretty alone, and looking at the stars made me feel even more insignificant,... trying to peice together better days, it dawned on me. When i'm with my friends, good company, i dont feel so small, whether they realized it or not, they were my escape... My only escape before then was playing my guitar, it would take me away to a different place, but it was and still is hard for me to get back to that place now. be it one way or another... it's not my friends' fault or anything, but i havnt felt that way in a long time.

Ive got no love to blind me from these everyday pains, i've been in all my friends' drama for so long im kind of tired of it,... Im ready for my own; I want a relationship,... when's it gonna be my turn?
6 soggy tissues| dry your eyes

i stubbed my toe and it seems to be bleeding.... [18 Jan 2004|04:16pm]

[ mood | bored ]

i've said it before, and i'll say it again: this community is fucking pathetic. After all, this was the intent of the community, but this has gone far beyond our worst expectations.

i know i've been gone for a while, and for that i am sorry.

but now, we need to breathe some life into the sad little community. i demand you all to post!

pictures, poems, stories, rants, whines, or anything.
oh, and if you could tell all your friends about us.
new people are interesting.
and if they're stupid we can laugh and make fun of them.
because there is a significant difference between stupidity and patheticism.

and now for a random fact about me:

i have never lived in a house with a functioning bath tub.

dry your eyes

hmm [17 Sep 2003|10:36pm]


How evil are you?
dry your eyes

[01 Aug 2003|01:45pm]

[ mood | apathetic ]

My parents got me a cat because I have no friends.

Her name is Death.

She loves me.

1 soggy tissue| dry your eyes

How pathetic am I? [17 Jul 2003|05:50pm]

[ mood | pathetic ]

Hello all, this is the newest patheticism member... at least i think I am...

How pathetic am I? well lets see... I have to be paid to spend time with my dad's parents... no joke, but i've made about $120 in the past week... I go to Star Trek conventions with my mom once a summer, and actually really enjoy them... I can't seem to figure out what I want to do with my life... Me and two friends are about to become the freaks of our high school, and it's a big ass high school... I think I've decided to swear off dating becuase of three failed relationships that I just simply realized that I wasn't in love with the guy, but I'm not sure how well I'm going to be able to stick to it...

That's all I can think of at the moment, but I'm a pretty pathetic person, i'm sure I'll think of more later.

dry your eyes

Cool picture of me.. heheh [17 Jul 2003|04:53pm]

[ mood | bored ]

Kim took a picture of me.. and made it trippy.

"what are you going to name your band?"

"I was thinking Marc... see I spell my name with a... K... I was kinda going for that whole psychedellic trip thing."

4 soggy tissues| dry your eyes

CODE!! [16 Jul 2003|01:39am]

I know this is MUCHO annoying.. but I need a code for my good friend Saul. If I get a code you guys will be getting some good pics for boyskissing. heheh. So.. if you have one.. please leave a comment or IM me.. spicegirlsarehXc. thanks!!!!

dry your eyes

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